Funny QuoteWe have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

If Airlines Sold PaintCustomer: Hi. How much is your paint?Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends on quite a lot of things.Customer: Can you give me a guess? Is there an average price?Clerk: Our lowest price is $12 a gallon, and we have60 different prices up to $200 a gallon.Customer: What's the difference in the paint?Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference; it's all the same paint.Customer: Well, then I'd like some of that $12 paint.Clerk: When do you intend to use the paint?Customer: I want to paint tomorrow. It's my day off.Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is the $200 paint.Customer: When would I have to paint to get the $12 paint?Clerk: You would have to start very late at night in about 3 weeks.But you will have to agree to start painting before Friday of thatweek and continue painting until at least Sunday.Customer: You've got to be *&%#@* kidding!Clerk: I'll check and see if we have any paint available.Customer: You have shelves FULL of paint! I can see it!Clerk: But it doesn't mean that we have paint available. We sellonly a certain number of gallons on any given weekend.Oh, and by the way, the price per gallon just went to $16.We don't have any more $12 paint.Customer: The price went up as we were talking?Clerk: Yes, sir. We change the prices and rules hundreds oftimes a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of thestore with your paint yet, we just decided to change. I suggest youpurchase your paint as soon as possible.How many gallons do you want?Customer: Well, maybe five gallons. Make that six, so I'll haveenough.Clerk: Oh no, sir, you can't do that. If you buy paint and don't useit,there are penalties and possible confiscation of the paint youalready have.Customer: WHAT?Clerk: We can sell enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom,hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do thebedroom, you will lose your remaining gallons of paint.Customer: What does it matter whether I use all the paint?I already paid you for it!Clerk: We make plans based upon the idea that all our paint is used,every drop. If you don't, it causes us all sorts of problems.Customer: This is crazy!! I suppose something terrible happens ifI don't keep painting until after Saturday night!Clerk: Oh yes! Every gallon you bought automatically becomesthe $200 paint.Customer: But what are all these, “Paint on sale from $10 a liter”signs?Clerk: Well that's for our budget paint. It only comes in half gallons.One $5 half gallon will do half a room. The second half gallon tocomplete the room is $20. None of the cans have labels, some areempty and there are no refunds, even on the empty cans.Customer: To hell with this! I'll buy what I need somewhere else!Clerk: I don't think so, sir. You may be able to buy paint for yourbathroom and bedrooms, and your kitchen and dining room fromsomeone else, but you won't be able to paint your connecting halland stairway from anyone but us. And I should point out, sir,that if you paint in only one direction, it will be $300 a gallon.Customer: I thought your most expensive paint was $200!Clerk: That's if you paint around the room to the point at which youstarted. A hallway is different.Customer: And if I buy $200 paint for the hall, but only paint in onedirection, you'll confiscate the remaining paint.Clerk: No, we'll charge you an extra use fee plus the difference onyour next gallon of paint. But I believe you're getting it now, sir.Customer: You're insane!Clerk: Thanks for painting with us.

2003 – The Year of the Andy

Today, we embark on a new year; 2003 – the Year of the Andy.

In this category, I will post my milestones, events, dates to remember, accomplishments, triumphs, and 'educational moments.' This will be my journal of personal achievements to help me focus on my goals and keep me motivated.

I hope that 2003 is your year too.

On the first day of 2003

I wish you all the best. I have had a great holiday season, spending most of it with my wife's family. We have been on a whirlwind of partying, eating, drinking, and just hanging around. Tomorrow we jump back into reality. The wife is off until Monday, but there is much work to be done to get this place back into shape before the old schedules kick in.

Today was a good day. We spent the day with the family, after taking some joy rides on the “Harley”. Lots of leftovers were consumed and hours upon hours of football were inhaled.

Today marks the first day of “The Year of Andy.” I don't know what the future holds, but I'm going to face it head on and with a tenacity unlike any other.

Here's hoping that all of our 2003 resolutions will endure to see the light of 2004.

Peace to all, and to all a good night. — Andy